‘It was the summer that men first walked on the moon. I was very young back then, but did not believe there would ever be a future. I wanted to live dangerously, to push myself as far as I could go, and then see what happened when I got there.’
‘It was the summer that men first walked on the moon.’
NY Summer 1969
I never been to NY, I just read about it in novels or watched movies or… read Mangas.
I love Moon Palace forever
I remember my teenage,
when I found the book “Moon Palace” at the book shop in Shinsaibashi Osaka.
NY 1969
somewhere “It’s already gone”
RIP Paul Auster
I didn’t know but when I was writing about opening line of “Moon Palace” by Paul Auster… it was 30 April midday in Osaka Japan…? so he might be already or…(I just read the news about his pass)
Moon Palace is the name of Chinese restaurant near Colombia uni.( it’s already gone.)
I wanted to go but Moon Palace is already gone…
いま語れ
時間は終わりに近づいている
(…and I found out that Auster was alive when I was thinking about “Moon Palace”…
EVENING it was…
I didn’t know
somebody who I kept reading since my teenage
“will” DIE…
and how I feel when author died…)
LOST HUMAN anarchic romanticism of youth 2046 In past life, at the observatory of Palenque ライン77 the Seventyseventh 2074 Hologram : r’s brain : a short story Neo Tokyo 2007 title: “…And Dog has gone Somewhere… FOREVER!” Rhyme for Christmas Time Night was Tender
、、、山の上ホテルじゃないけど! あのデスクで! (、、、書くの苦手(字が下手!パパの字キレイだけど!)、、、だから万年筆!ある意味アコガレ笑ではあるけど、、、 タイプライター(on the road!)!!! 万年筆と「原稿用紙!!!」(古風に!) 、、、まぁ「mac book air 銀色の相棒」かなー)
(some part (photo) is missing, if you interested in, click copy and paste this link
https://note.com/relaxmax/n/na5400245aca1 )
“By being around you”
“TRUE POWER is in Compassion”
Adam
” I understood the purpose of life ” Dalai Lama
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relaxmax already knows “my true life purpose of life”!
and you?
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By being around you, I really felt that true power is in compassion, that true power comes from a sense of realisation about oneself and from inner disarmament.
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Adam
he is American
he is a Westerner
(Adam :name of human being in Bible … )
inner strength
Adam wanted to learn from His Holiness and he was learning…”By being around him”! :)
and it’s His Holiness’s Life purpose as “COMPASSION 10th”
ADAMのこともよくわかる^_^
アメリカ人のアダム
西洋人のアダム
inner strength
彼が
ラマさまから
学んでいたこと
ラマさまの
life propose as
“COMPASSION 10th”^_^
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relaxmax is thinking
how
“AMERICANS” could learn
“DISARMAMENT”…
I saw THE WALL
in EASTON BRISTOL!
1901-2001 (100 years of US TERRORISM)
I photographed…
… after reading Adam’s word…he is happen to be “AMERICAN”… Adam’s word “disarmament” reminds me of “THAT WALL in EASTON BRISTOL”
“As you all know, I was selected not in the customary way of picking lots from the golden urn, but my selection was foretold and divined. In accordance with these divinations and prophecies I was recognized as the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama and enthroned.”
I didn’t have period!(it’s too late for a girl to have first period… I didn’t have period… so I asked my mom to take me to Obstetrics and gynecology! 産婦人科! ティーンネイジャーに産婦人科はキツイexperience!) It was hard experience for teenager!
My teenage was… hurting experience!
rite of passage
To become adult!
secondary sexual characteristics!
I didn’t have secondary sexual characteristics (acutually when I was 20! I didn’t have under hair… really slow physical growth!!! so I was really …
I had really difficult teenage time!
secondary sexual characteristics! slow physical growth( under hair, breasts and… period!)
I didn’t have period.(日本語で 原発性無月経と後に(大人になってから別の男性の医師が)病名で教えてくれたけど!) I was 17 and listening to “Flipper’s Guitar”…(3am op いつも耳をすまして 17歳の僕がいた)
I don’t have “something” something= first period! Menarche!(I never had!)
This is what I was writing about here…
my husband and ME relaxmax(had something…=No first period
relaxmax is Kind of disabled (disability=to have period! )
Why they haven’t paid to kind of disabled person relaxmax for such a long time…
I don’t have “something” something= first period! Menarche!(I never had!)
so I had to have sex chromosomes test when I was 17!
It was hurting experience! XX I am(means I am woman, sex) I think I am a girl (but I COULDN’T think I was a woman coz I didn’t have period, I didn’t have secondary sexual characteristics…(breasts, under hair)…
adolescence hard time to grow! My youth! I was listening to Flipper’s Guitar
I COULDN’T think I was a woman coz I never had first period, … but I am not “a boy” of course! I am XX. (sex chromosomes)
I wanted to be “NORMAL” like normal girl I wanted to have first period, breasts, and under hair…(kind of disability I have!)
NORMAL BODY I wanted to have. Hard time for me relaxmax. I was 17! I had chromosomes test…
I couldn’t tell anybody about it(only mom knows!)… so my classmates never know this.
A feminine body! Female kind of BODY! I wanted to have! (like normal girls in my classroom)
“I” am different from those around me! My body… I couldn’t accept (so it was hurting process to accept myself in my teenage!)
Now, I am ADULT! so I CAN! write about it. (I’m not teenager anymore!)
I was with my FIRST BOYFRIEND in 1999 (I had first sex when I was 23… I know it’s bit late but… I am me, and MY BODY was …( I didn’t have under hair when I was 20! and my breasts and body was like “CHILD”!)…like SUMIRE in sputnik sweet heart (by Haruki Murakami) , I wanted to write a novel (but never finish or…haha!)…
放課後の音符(キィノート) After school Keynote by Amy Yamada
I was reading this novel when I was 14. “Keynote” Father is talking with his daughter and he gave her “mille (1000 i don’t remember which language but could be Italian?)”…they are talking about “SEX”…
“are you ready anytime? to take your cloths off? in front of a MAN you LOVE?”
I really loved this Novel, but… I was feeling “I am NOT ready!”( to take off clothes in front of somebody I love!” (so my first sex… was 23! coz I knew MY BODY was different from OTHERS (other girls in same classroom!) I was 17 and I had sex chromosomes. My body was like a child. I never had first menstruation.
My body is different from NORMAL girl in my classroom. innate something I had to accept! so when I was reading about transgender (their sex and “BODY”)… I was thinking they might have something similar experiences…( they are born as XX but they might want to have “different body”? or…)
I am not transgender tho I do have “SEX (xx) and BODY (not really female kind of body I had when I was teenager)” … Sexual characteristics body kind of disability
I am different (from NORMAL classmates (society I used to belong ! for teenager).
I was 17 and I had chromosomes test.
Innate, Deformity(I felt about myself) (but people don’t really realise if I’m wearing cloths. This is kind of similar with my ex husband! he had something. “DISABLED”… but he is wearing cloths it’s difficult for somebody to notice…) if you see somebody without hands or legs,( YOU CAN “SEE”!) it might be easier to “UNDERSTAND”?
I was 17 and I had chromosomes test. Hard experience in my teenage! I couldn’t tell but now I can! write about it ! I become ADULT! (this is first time to write about it)